21 More Days

I have 21 more days before I am going to the Great Northwest for a month. Do I make or break any habits that I've been thinking about before I go? I plan on writing music, writing words, being outside, keeping a record of what I'm doing and much more. I want to come back changed and full of vigor. I want to come back and know what I am doing. I have nothing left but a few tools, many people rooting for me and a spark of faith that this may actually work.

I've been practicing the guitar because I am going to accompany myself on one song when I get to Montana for a benefit for Haiti. My sister is going to play the piano on the other song. There will be quite a few artists there. I may be the only one with a one song repertoire (at least with instrumentation, you want a capella? I could sing for days!).

My fingers hurt from "playing" the guitar and yesterday I nearly passed out at a personal training session. In my family this means your doing something right! I plan on putting myself through many more ringers. (Is that even a word?) I will also be kind to myself in the process. That is something I have learned all on my own.

And now...

So I'm following up on this blog almost a year later. I've been feeling itchy to write it out again. It's a nice day here in NYC. my husband just got back from Iceland and I reconnected with an old friend. All this and then some has left me encouraged. I have been feeling a bit out of sorts lately-far away like there is a pane of glass between me and "it". You know? I'm trying to breathe above water while I'm bobbing up and down. I must keep moving though. I must. (That's the double soap opera repeat for emphasis.)
I'm at my day job. Some days it is very hard to deal with the tedium of it, but seriously if I complain about it I deserve a handslap. I just prefer singing that's all. I prefer meetings and writing and deciding what to wear and rushing from one thing to the next and blasting my voice out. Yes I do. I am fighting the desire (don't know if I should fight it) to think of alternative things to do. Maybe singing isn't everything etc. and all that. Aaahh, but it still is isn't it missy? You're just trying to keep it down because losing it hurts way too much. True. Preach it! So, I continue the fight to remain true-to get up and keep on trying. I will not give in to the alternative. At least not today.